The Elf on the Shelf Chronicles: Diary of a Victimized Parent, Part 3

7:42 am, December 10th: Antonia finds the elf in the tree and asks me to get her down. I can’t reach, so we have to ask Albie to extract her. Antonia … [Continue reading]

The Elf on the Shelf Chronicles: Diary of a Victimized Parent, Part 2

Just after midnight, December 6th: I wake up on the couch where Albie and I have fallen asleep watching a movie. “SHIT. I have to move the elf,” I … [Continue reading]

Elf on the Shelf Chronicles: Diary of a Victimized Parent, Part 1

I love Christmas. It’s my favorite holiday; always has been. I love the music, the decorations, the festive feeling in the air, the snow – all of it. … [Continue reading]

My Mother Might Be Dead

My mother might be dead, or at the very least, trapped under a heavy object. At least, that’s what my father led me to believe this afternoon at … [Continue reading]

How (Not) to Cook Peanut Butter: A Short Video by Antonia Somers

Most days I work from home and my eight-year-old daughter, Antonia, is at school. But, this week, she is off for Thanksgiving vacation and, as luck … [Continue reading]

Why My Dogs Smell Like Chicken: Don’t Try this at Home

My dogs smell like chicken. I noticed this the other night when I bent down to give Friedrich a kiss on the top of his head. Instead of his usual dog … [Continue reading]

A Cadillac, a Cockroach and Cheeze-Its

There is at least one cockroach living somewhere in my car as I write this. I was driving my daughter home from dance class, discussing the difference … [Continue reading]

Running From Bears and Life’s Other Pleasantries

“The only time I would even contemplate running is if a bear were chasing me,” I emphatically told my date. He had just asked me if I liked to run. … [Continue reading]

A Native New Yorker’s Perspective on Atlanta’s Snowmageddon 2014

I have lived in Atlanta for the past 10 years. In these 10 years, I have experienced the worst drought of the Southeast ever; the 100 Year Flood; the … [Continue reading]

Take a Leap of Faith into 2014 – Even if it Scares the Pants Off of You

Today, while doing research for an article I was writing about the exciting world of medical malpractice, I read this quote: “In actual life, every … [Continue reading]